All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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