Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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