I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
