I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
