I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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