Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
