dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
