I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
