I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
