I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
