it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
