just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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