My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
