: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize