I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Text me some of your sweat
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
