I want to stick my p in your. b.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
