My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
