so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
