he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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