State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
