it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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