How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
