Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
