i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Boobs speak an international language.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize