Whod you bang
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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