Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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