Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
