i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
