He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
my liver is dry heaving
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
