Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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