Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
