whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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