does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
