Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
