Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
look no pants
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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