I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He felt like a one man threesome
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
