there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
