He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
