she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
