Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
