can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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