We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I've blown a few things in my day
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
