'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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