I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
