I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
