hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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