How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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