you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
