yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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