Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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