I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
