we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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