is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
