Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it hurts more in the daytime
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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